Kosher Crockpot Turkey

Oh, yes. There's a chill in the air and a new Bon Appetit in my mailbox. It must be Christmas. Wait, no, that's not until after Halloween, right? I'm so confused. My local Walgreens has a display with a cheerful green faced witch sitting on Santa's lap.

But here at home, I can dwell on the best fall Holiday of them all - a secular one shared by all Americans (even if I see gobbler turkeys decorated with skull necklaces next to a bed of mistletoe). It's finally time for Thanksgiving.

I literally can't get enough of those seasonal foods - and not just because most of them are delightfully parve. Thanksgiving isn't just a one day event for me. It' s more like eight weeks of hearty fare indigenous to our continent. Try to imagine a world without potatoes, tomatoes, corn, pumpkin or turkey. Okay, you can stop now. If you think about it too long, you'll get the shakes.

I let my Mother-in-law handle the dramatic Presentation Turkey for Thanksgiving itself. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking you must spend ten hours carefully crafting a hand basted golden brown bird every time you want a little turkey. No, no, no. In fact, as long as you don't mind a little judicious slicing before you bring it to the table, no one needs to know how easy this fall-off-the-bone moist turkey really was.

• 1 four to six pound bone-in turkey breast, thawed
• 1 yellow onion
• 1 carrot
• 1 head garlic (or 3 - 4 tbsp minced from a can)
• 1 tbsp basil
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1/2 cup water

Make sure you remove any neck, giblets, gravy packets, or other extras that come with your turkey breast. You don't want a greasy surprise later. Now mix the garlic, basil, salt, and olive oil into a thick paste. Loosen the turkey skin and rub the paste between the skin and the breast. Wipe any leftover on your fingers on the outside of the skin. Stuff one bay leaf on each side of the breast.

Roughly chop your onion and carrot. Honestly, if you don't plan on making any gravy or using the juices, you can skip this step. I think it makes the broth taste better. Put the turkey in the crockpot, stuff the chopped vegetables under the bone, and add the water.

Cook the turkey on low for 8 to 9 hours. I put it in before I go to work and come home to a great smelling dinner. The turkey will literally be falling off the bone at this point. Remove the largest chunks you can and let them cool before slicing. Add a couple tablespoons of the juices to keep it extra moist (or just bring a bowl of the drippings to the table and let people add their own.)

NOTE: If you can only get whole turkeys, this recipe works just as well. The only real problem is fitting the whole thing in your crockpot. If you have one of the huge ones, you're all set. If you have a normal sized crockpot, you can always chop off the legs (kids often enjoy helping with this part) and wings, save those for later, and throw the breast in a crockpot.

LAZY GRAVY: Add a cup of the cooked vegetables and two cups of the drippings/broth to a blender. You might want to add a few ice cubes first if your blender doesn't play nicely with hot liquids. Add in a teaspoon each of salt and fresh ground pepper, then blend until smooth. This will be a little thicker than broth, but not really as thick as gravy. If you'd like to thicken it up a little more, add 1 tsp of cornstarch to 1/2 cup cold water and blend until smooth. Once the cornstarch mix is smooth, add it to the gravy. Stir well and wait for it to cool a little more. That should give it some body.

Kosher Vegan Yellow Lentils with Whole Spices

I love lentils. This sometimes surprises me, because I grew up hating beans. In retrospect, it turns out I didn't like the spices. Discovering South Asian and Middle Eastern food opened up a whole new word of tasty goodness for me.

Since they both take time to make and always taste better the next day, I tend to make lentil dishes in large batches so I can leave a pot in the fridge and graze out of it all week long. This particular lentil dish is a nice sweet variation loosely based on something I recently enjoyed at a Turkish restaurant.

• 2 cups yellow lentils, soaked overnight
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1 cup dried apricots, chopped
• 2 tbsp minced garlic (or 4 cloves)
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 inch peeled and chopped ginger
• 1 bay leaf
• 4 whole cloves
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp fresh ground white or mixed peppercorns
• 6 cups water

Heat the olive oil in a soup pot. Add the garlic, cinnamon stick, ginger, bay leaf, cloves, cumin, salt, and pepper. Stir well, cooking the spices for 2 - 3 minutes. Trust me - this really brings out the flavor. You'll notice a real difference if you skip the step (although I've dumped spices in the pot without cooking them first in plenty of recipes and had the result turn out perfectly edible. But that's not what you want. You want mouth watering.)

Now add the chopped onion and apricots. Stir frequently, cooking 4 - 5 minutes, until the onions turn translucent. Once the onions are ready, you can finally add the water and lentils. Stir everything well, then bring it to a boil. Cover the pot and bring it down to a simmer. Let the lentils boil for a good hour.

Now you get to decide if you want them slightly soupy or thick enough to stand a spoon in. If you'd like a more soup like consistency, take it off the heat, fish out the bay leaf, cloves, and cinnamon stick, then serve. If you like your lentils thicker, take the lid off and continue cooking for another half hour - longer if you like your lentils really thick.

If you're feeling schmancy, let the lentils cool slightly, pick out the spices, and puree everything in a blender until it is nice and smooth. Personally, I like the mouthfeel of bits of onion and apricot (and, being honest here, I hate cleaning my blender).

Serve over rice or with naan.

VARIATIONS

Brown or red lentils don't need to be soaked overnight. If you're in a hurry, go ahead and use either of them. Red lentils hold up to to the sweetness of the apricots better, but they will fall apart faster, so you won't want to use the longer cooking time. You might also want to reduce the water by 1 cup. Brown lentils won't balance as well with the sweetness, but have a hearty solidity to them.

If you're feeling bold and daring, try substituting dried cranberries for the apricots.

If you'd like something a little mellower, try substituting diced dried apples for the apricots.

Kosher Greek Chicken and Potatoes

I'm on a crockpot kick right now. Crockpots are more than just an easy way to make shabbat meals. They're also great for weeknight dinners when I want to have something hot waiting for me the minute I get home from the gym.

For those of you who don't own a crockpot, they're dirt cheap (the low end starts around $15 these days) and incredibly easy to use. You put in the food. You put on the lid. You turn it on. That's all.

• 1 whole roaster chicken
• 1 pound baby new potatoes
• 3 tbsp oregano
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 3 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice (2 small lemons or one big one)
• 1 tsp kosher salt

Put the potatoes at the bottom of your crockpot. Mix the oregano, olive oil, lemon juice, and salt into a paste. Loosen the skin of the chicken and smear the paste underneath. Trust me - you want it under the skin instead of over it. The flavor difference is incredible.

Put the chicken on top of the potatoes. This way, the juices will drip down and season the spuds. If there isn't enough room in your crockpot, then put the chicken in first and stuff in as many potatoes as you can wherever they'll fit.

Cook on "low" for 4 - 6 hours. I usually make this at lunchtime and come home to a hot dinner. I've never tried making this before work and coming home to it in the evening, so I don't know how the meat will react to 8 - 9 hours of cooking time. I suspect it'll be fall-off-the-bone tender. If you try, please let me know.

Variations:

• Add 1 tsp minced garlic to the spice mix.
• If you have an open bottle of white wine, pour 1/2 cup over the top of the chicken after the chicken and potatoes are arranged in the crockpot. Always cook with what you drink.
• Slice up 1 white or yellow onion. Spread the potatoes at the bottom of the crockpot, add the onions on top of the potatoes, and the chicken on top of the onions.

Kosher Passover Irish Beef and Beer Stew

Impress the family next Passover with a "Guinness" stew. No kidding. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but I love using it as an ingredient. It does wonders for any kind of beef in a crockpot. All of Ramapo Valley Brewery's beers are kosher, but their award winning HB Brew is also kosher for Passover (and, incidentally, drinkable by people with celiac disease. Some days, I really love modernity.) The tricky part of this recipe is finding the kosher for passover spices. One alternative is to buy fresh, refrigerated spices. If you can't find anything more than salt and pepper, use them liberally and trust the beer to provide the rest of the flavor.

• 2 pounds stew beef
• 2 large onions
• 4 large carrots
• 4 medium potatoes
• 1 bottle kosher for passover beer
• 1/4 cup brown sugar (or honey)
• 1 tbsp dried thyme
• 1 tbsp dried parsley
• 1 tbsp minced garlic (or 2-3 cloves)
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp fresh black pepper
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 cup leftover mashed potatoes

Dice the onions, carrots, and potatoes into large chunks, at least two inches. Add them to the bottom of the crockpot. Next add the meat. On top of that, sprinkle all the sugar and spices. Top it all off with the bottle of beer.

Cook on "low" for six to eight hours. Don't worry about over cooking. If you throw this in the crockpot before leaving for work, it'll be fine if you get home nine or more hours later.

When ready to serve, add the cup of mashed potatoes. Without this, the liquid will be tasty, but the flavors won't stick as well. The potatoes thicken up the stew and bind the flavors together. Like most stews, this one is even tastier after sitting in the fridge overnight.

WARNING

Resist the urge to make this stew too busy. You'll see Guinness Beef Stew recipes with rosemary, basil, marjoram - pretty much any western European kitchen herb. Don't do it. The simpler you keep this recipe, the better it turns out.

FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR

You can substitute 1/4 cup cornstarch well blended with 1/2 cup cold water instead of mashed potatoes. Both perform the same function as thickening agents.

Kosher Meatballs

I've recently rediscovered the joy of meatballs. I can make a big batch one night then have all kinds of easy leftovers for the rest of the week - spaghetti, meatball sandwiches, crushed over rice - they're just so versatile!

• 1 pound of the leanest ground beef available
• 1/4 cup "Italian" style breadcrumbs (if the only spiced ones you can find are dairy, add 1 tsp "Italian" blend spices to plain breadcrumbs)
• 1/2 cup yellow onion, diced fine
• 1/4 cup bell pepper (red, yellow, or green), diced fine
• 1 tbsp worstechire sauce
• 1 tbsp minced garlic (about 3 cloves)
• 1 tsp basil
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp ground mixed peppercorns

The real key to these meatballs is texture. If you like a meatball with a little interior crunch, dice the onions and peppers by hand. If you prefer a smooth texture in your meatball, dice the onions and peppers in a food processor until they're very, very fine. If you want a buttery smooth texture in your meatballs, use a food processor on the vegetables first, then once everything is thoroughly mixed together, put meat mix into the food processor again and process until smooth.

However you prefer to do it, thoroughly mix all ingredients until they're well blended. Once you have the texture you prefer, roll the dough into golfball sized balls.

Heat your largest skillet to medium/medium low. Do not add any oil. Arrange the meatballs in the skillet so you still have a little space for maneuvering room. Allow each side to brown, about five minutes, then use a tablespoon to turn. Mine usually need to be turned 3 - 4 times before they're finished.

These freeze very well. You can put 3 - 4 between a couple papertowels and microwave them from frozen in just a couple minutes (depending on your microwave.) They're great for fast, low-fat meals.

Kosher Persian Inspired Beef and Yellow Split Pea Stew

This is a dirt simple recipe, perfect for stuffing into the crockpot on your way out the door to work. It works equally well with beef or lamb, depending on your preference, but use a cheap, tough cut! Otherwise, the meat will fall completely apart after cooking for 8 hours. If you use cheap stewing meat, it'll be deliciously tender without falling to pieces.

• 1 pound inexpensive stew beef or lamb, cubed
• 1 cup yellow split peas
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 fourteen point five oz can stewed or diced tomatoes
• 3 (newly emptied stewed tomato) cans of water
• 3 tbsp tomato paste (about half a 6 oz can)
• 1 tbsp minced garlic (about 3 cloves)
• 1 tbsp tumeric powder
• 1 tsp paprika powder
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1 lime, juiced

Mix everything BUT the time in your crockpot. Stir thoroughly. Leave the crockpot on low for at least 6 hours, preferably at least 8. Just before serving, juice 1/2 of the lime into the crockpot. Taste, and if it needs a little more lime, squeeze in the other half.

Don't put the lime in while cooking! The cirtus acids don't play nicely with the meat.

Serve with hot rice and/or pita bread.

Variations:

• If you can find them, use 2 - 3 dried persian sour limes instead of a single regular lime. Ethinic groceries might have them. If they're not available where you live, don't worry.
• Most versions of this recipe call for eggplant. I've never developed a taste for it, so I leave it out, but if you like eggplant, chop up a medium one and add it to the crockpot along with the rest of the ingredients. Eggplant lovers tell me it's a very tasty addition.
• A bay leaf added to the crockpot adds nicely to the flavor.

Kosher Tzaziki Sauce - Turkish and Persian

Since I'm lactose intolerant, this is something of a sin food for me. It can be made with soy yogurt, but to be honest with you, it's just not as good. I'm a big fan of cucumber, so I like the Turkish style Tzaziki best, but a lot of my friends prefer the mintier Persian, so I thought I'd include them both. The Turkish is delightful with falafel while the Persian is a fantastic accompaniment to salmon. Turkish Tzaziki

• 2 cups plain yogurt (fresh if you can get it)
• 1/2 cup finely chopped cucumber
• 2 tbsp finely chopped onion
• 1 tbsp chopped garlic (about 3 cloves)
• 4 tbsp dried mint
• 1/2 tsp salt

Persian Tzaziki

• 2 cups plain yogurt
• 1/4 cup dried mint
• 2 tbsp dried parsley
• 2 tbsp dried dill
• 1 chopped garlic clove
• 1/2 tsp salt

The instructions for both are the same. Thoroughly mix all ingredients in a bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit overnight. If you eat it too early, it'll taste like lumpy yogurt, but if you let it sit overnight, the flavors will mingle and it'll be to die for. Stir again before serving. Serve chilled with falafel, salmon, a fresh vegetable tray, or whatever cries out to you. Stays good in the fridge for several days, though mine never lasts that long.