Kosher Parve Sweet Honey Corn

To my surprise, a lot of people aren't entirely sure how to boil corn. It's okay. I knew how to make a good channa masala before I learned how to make basic tuna salad. We all have interesting little gaps in our kitchen skills. Pretend you're here looking for spice advice while you sneak a peek at the cooking instructions. I won't tell.

Most people love basic boiled corn on the cob slathered in butter. It's oh so delicious. However, if you're looking for a parve/vegetarian dish that, as an added bonus, won't smear your makeup while eating, give this variation a try.

6 ears yellow corn

6 tsp honey

1 tsp minced garlic

1 tsp kosher salt

Find a pot large enough to fit six ears of corn and a bunch of water. In an ideal world, this pot will have a lid. You may not live in an ideal world, though, so don't sweat it. Either way, fill the pot about half way with water and bring it to a boil. Throw in the corn. Now, if you have a lid, put it on top, turn the heat off, and wait 15 minutes. If you don't have a lid, turn the heat down to medium (just enough to keep the water boiling) and let it steam up your kitchen for 15 minutes.

Remove the corn from the water. How you do this is up to you. In an ideal world, a pair of tongs or super heat resistant silicone gloves might be involved. In my world, I usually use a couple of forks while doing the 'ow ow ow hot water just splashed my legs' dance. Do as I say, not as I do. Wouldn't it be better if we all lived in an ideal world?

Using your sturdiest knife, cut the corn from the cob. Now, you may be wondering why you nearly boiled your arm off when the grocery store sells perfectly good corn in cans. Trust me, the texture and flavor aren't even remotely the same. Fresh ingredients make a world of difference, and in the world of corn, it's like going from the inhospitable surface of a hostile, brackish world to the sweet warmth of a newly terraformed virgin planet.

Scoop your newly shorn corn kernels into a large bowl. Add the honey, garlic, and salt, then mix until everything is pretty evenly distributed. Serve warm. If you happen to have any leftover, add about 1 tsp water per cup of corn and it'll reheat pretty well in the microwave.

Variations:

I sometimes like to add 1/2 - 1 tsp paprika or cayenne to give this a little bit of a bite. The same quantity of freshly ground white pepper instead can also add a nice touch.

Kosher Vegan Thanksgiving Dressing

This hearty dressing makes a great vegetarian main course.

Home made bread cubes really aren't that hard to come by. If you pick up a baugette from the store, just leave it out overnight and it'll go rock hard. If you're well prepared, you can even cut it into chunks first. A baguette is easy, but this recipe works great with artisan breads. Go ahead and pick up that Rosemary and Basil Foccacia or Roasted Garlic Herb Bread. It'll add more flavor. Stay away from sweet breads, though. I'm not sure how this would turn out with Cinnamon Swirl Bagels or Blueberry Muffin Loaf.

• Roughly 7 - 8 cups of stale bread ripped into cubes
• 4 cups vegetable broth
• 1 granny smith apple
• 1 onion
• 1 red bell pepper
• 6 cloves garlic
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp sage
• 1 tbsp dried thyme
• 1 tbsp salt
• 2 tsp basil
• 1 tsp rosemary

Preheat your oven to 350.

Peel the apple and cut it into roughly 1 inch cubes. Now peel the onion and do the same thing. Ditto for the bell pepper. Most people put celery in their dressing, but I don't like it. Therefore, we're going to forgo sauteing the onion so it'll still give a little bit of crunch.

Now, in a large bowl, mix all the spices and 2 tbsp of the olive oil with the canned vegetable broth. If your broth has some frighteningly high sodium content, feel free to leave out the extra salt. You're mixing the spices with the broth to better distribute them into the bread. Otherwise, you risk ending up with a big bite of sage at one corner and an unseasoned chunk of dull bread at the other.

I happen to like my dressing moist. I didn't grow up with gravy, so the dressing had to be able to stand on its own. For a vegetarian recipe, this is extra important. If, however, you like your dressing a little drier, only use 3 cups of broth.

Now dump your breadcubes, onion, apple, and bell pepper into the broth. Mix until everything is pretty damp and well blended. Let it sit for 10 minutes or so. This should give the bread a chance to really soak up all the broth. This is especially important if you used a dense artisian bread, like foccacia or cibata.

Rub your remaining tablespoon of olive oil over the inside of a large cake pan (I recommend glass or pyrex, as dark pans are more likely to make the bottom and edges burn.) Press the dressing into the pan. Don't be afraid to squish it down a little. You don't want it too fluffy.

Bake at 350F for 30 minutes. Check it with a fork. Now, this is the only tricky bit. Some people like their dressing a little runny and others like it bone dry. I err on the moist side. If in doubt, go ahead and scoop out a discrete fork full from near the middle. If it's not dry enough for you, let it bake for another 10 minutes. If you bake it too much longer than that, once it hits the table, it'll dry out tremendously. (So much you won't want to use it for leftovers, which is always the best part of the holiday for me.)

Kosher Dairy Super Simple Candied Yams

Last week I offered a fancy alternative to traditional candied yams. This week, I've been reminded that some people like tradition.

These are so simple I almost feel guilty calling this a recipe. There's something wrong with that, though. I learned how to make channa masala before I learned how to make a tuna sandwich because people assumed everyone knows how to do that.

There are a lot of simple foods out there which people love but don't have a clue how to make. Thus I present to you the easiest and most reliable recipe I've ever had for that holiday classic, candied yams. The great thing about these is, if you're a new cook, they're almost impossible to mess up. If you're new to cooking and want something to bring to a dairy meal without any fancy schmancy holiday stress, give these a try.

• 3 large sweet potatoes/yams
• 2 sticks butter
• 2 cups brown sugar
• 2 tsp salt

You new cooks will need a cake pan for this. If you don't own one, a disposable aluminum one from the store works great. Either way, bringing your own pan means you already have something to carry leftovers home in. Aren't you smart!

Back at your own place, well before festivities begin, preheat your oven to 400F. Peel the potatoes. Now comes the hard part - hack the potatoes into roughly 1/2 inch discs. Now, the thing about sweet potatoes and yams is that they're incredibly dense. Cutting them takes some muscle. If the only knife you own is a wobbly steak knife you stole from the cafeteria back in college, you might be in for some trouble. Try wrapping a washcloth around the handle to give you more leverage.

Once you've mightily sawed your discs, cut one stick of butter into 4 big chunks and put one at each corner of the pan. Now dump in all your hard fought sweet potato slices. Cut the second stick of butter into 4 pieces and scatter them on top of the yams. Dump the brown sugar pretty evenly over the whole mess.

Put the pan in the oven at 400 and bake for 45 minutes. Now, it'd be nice if all ovens were equal, but we know that's not the case. At 45 minutes, check and see if they're done. If you can stab all the way through one with a fork, you're good. If not, cook them for another 15 minutes.

The yams should now be swimming in a delicious concoction of sugar and butter. Try one. You'll like it. Now seal that pan tight with aluminum foil. That'll keep the heat and moisture in.

When you get to your host's for Thanksgiving, politely wait until the oven is empty for a bit and pop the pan inside (still safely sealed in foil) for about 10 minutes. This is just to warm the yams up. Don't worry about the temperature of the oven. Whatever your host's have it set at is just fine. Trust me.

VARIATIONS:

If you're feeling a little fancy, add 2 tsp of cinnamon along with the brown sugar.

If you're feeling a lot fancy, top the whole mess with kosher marshmallows. Politely wait your turn until the oven is empty, then pop your pan in there long enough for the yams to reheat a little and the marshmallows to brown - for me, about 8 - 10 minutes, but your mileage may vary. Ovens lose a lot of heat at Thanksgiving with all the opening and closing.

If you're impatient and your hosts happen to possess both a creme brulee torch and a sense of humor, feel free to amuse your fellow guests by piling on a thin layer of marshmallows and carefully setting them on fire browning them with the gentle flames. It's festive!